Nike: It's Latin for Asshole

I've worked in a sports store for the past year and a half, and one of the few things I've learned is that Nike is a giant bucket of corporate scum. While you may look at me incredulously as I sit here typing this wearing my $85 Nike dunks, I assure you that I tell no lies. Well, I do tell lies, but I'm not lying about the Nike being scum part. I'm also a hypocrite. I'm also a flaming homosexual. What was I getting at?

Oh yeah, Nike! We recently got a shipment of shinguards from them. These shinguards are 8'' long pieces of plastic. They are shipped in a gigantic cardboard box with metal staples across the bottom. Each guard comes in hard plastic packaging. Each of the hard cases is enclosed in a plastic bag. Each of these plastic bags is placed with 2 more of identically-packaged guards and placed in…you guessed it, another plastic bag.

What do we do with all this plastic? Well what can we do? We take a big plastic garbage bag, put all the other plastic bags in it (yes, the shipment of about 20 shinguards fills an entire garbage bag with plastic) and toss it in the garbage.

Did I mention that this article isn't funny? It's sad. Not sad like The Notebook either, I'm talking real sad. Killing bunnies kind of sad.

Nike knows that plastic will never biodegrade. Nike knows that it
takes oil to make plastic. Nike knows that by packaging their little
$20 shinguards like this they're not only killing the environment
and wasting landfill space, but raising the cost of filling my gas tank to $42.17. I wish that price wasn’t exact.

Is it really important for you to know this about Nike? Not really. You’re better off focusing on the fact that they pay 5-year-olds 3 cents an hour to make your shoes.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go jump into my 15 MPG car, order some non-fair trade coffee in a Styrofoam cup and step on the skulls of the less fortunate while spitting on the homeless. I hope you’ve all learned something about environmental ethics.
-EK