Alcoholism, and other games to play with your children
When people hear a word like “alcoholism,” they generally respond in one of a few ways. Some laugh derisively, trying to hide the fact that they don’t know what it means, others laugh nervously, knowing they have some troubled past to conceal, and others say, “Alco-what-you-say?” Nobody really understands it.
But here are the facts. Alcoholism affects over five-and-a-half hundred million Americans every year, not including Canadians. Think about that. That’s almost twice as many Americans as exist within
Did you know most people you see in the street are alcoholics? Think about how many people you see in the street every day. Millions, probably. Some of them are walking alone, holding hands, or walking along, buying things, must most are just walking along, being alcoholics. If you’re like most people, you probably thought only panhandlers are alcoholics. But that’s not true; in fact, it’s almost false. These people can’t even afford enough booze to be proper alcoholics. Most alcoholics are rich, and what’s more, most of them don’t even drink.
Not surprisingly, there are still some old-fashioned people who don’t consider alcoholism a legitimate disease. These are the same sort of people who still think that only gay people get AIDS, and that humans aren’t really descended from Galapagos finches. In short, they’re old people.
Alcoholism is not just alcohol addiction. Nor is it merely a symptom of some other psychological illness or infirmity. Nor is it a cultural construct. Nor is it a variety of other things. What is it, then? Just look at the word if you want to know. Alcoholism: a combination between Al (the name of most bus drivers), cholera, a girl named Liz, and the letter m, which is, not coincidentally, the first letter of mendacity.
That's really all you need to know. Now go out and get drunk.
