This goes out to you Green-SUV-Man
I hate to bring up the topic of driving again, but in three weeks I will not be able to drive anymore so I have to live it up while I can.
Once a doctor has earned his or her medical degree he or she may not just practice medicine for the rest of his or her life unquestioned. Also back in the day only men could be doctors and I wouldn’t have to keep writing “his or her”. Shit, am I off track already? What I’m getting at is that all doctors must continually prove that they are competent to practice medicine through various classes and tests.
There is an obvious reason for this – doctors are directly responsible for people’s lives. If a doctor loses touch with the proper means of conducting his or her medical practice than patients are essentially being put directly in harms way by seeking help.
Now, if we insist on keeping doctors in check throughout their careers, why do we simply allow people to take single driving tests as means of proving that they are capable to drive for their entire lives? After all, every time you get behind the wheel you are not only taking your own life into your hands, but the lives of everyone else on the road at that time (not to mention pedestrians). Statistics say that 1 person dies every 13 minutes from a car accident in the United States. Compare that to how many people die as a direct result of medical malpractice*. Starting to see where I’m going?
Now this post is not just going out to the asshole in the green Ford SUV, license plate 25JL70, who plowed through a red light at the intersection of Kellogg and North Pleasant Street at approximately 3:53 pm yesterday, almost hitting me at full speed as I made a left turn. No, no, this is going out to everyone. It’s a request meant to benefit the safety of the public. It is imperative that we continually test the competency of our nation’s drivers.
Once a doctor has earned his or her medical degree he or she may not just practice medicine for the rest of his or her life unquestioned. Also back in the day only men could be doctors and I wouldn’t have to keep writing “his or her”. Shit, am I off track already? What I’m getting at is that all doctors must continually prove that they are competent to practice medicine through various classes and tests.
There is an obvious reason for this – doctors are directly responsible for people’s lives. If a doctor loses touch with the proper means of conducting his or her medical practice than patients are essentially being put directly in harms way by seeking help.
Now, if we insist on keeping doctors in check throughout their careers, why do we simply allow people to take single driving tests as means of proving that they are capable to drive for their entire lives? After all, every time you get behind the wheel you are not only taking your own life into your hands, but the lives of everyone else on the road at that time (not to mention pedestrians). Statistics say that 1 person dies every 13 minutes from a car accident in the United States. Compare that to how many people die as a direct result of medical malpractice*. Starting to see where I’m going?
Now this post is not just going out to the asshole in the green Ford SUV, license plate 25JL70, who plowed through a red light at the intersection of Kellogg and North Pleasant Street at approximately 3:53 pm yesterday, almost hitting me at full speed as I made a left turn. No, no, this is going out to everyone. It’s a request meant to benefit the safety of the public. It is imperative that we continually test the competency of our nation’s drivers.
Experts agree that the man in the green SUV was most likely this prick.But how would we test such a subjective matter? (Although in case of the above asshole it was totally subjective. Red lights STILL mean stop, jackass. Some things never change.) We could subject people to an annual driving test, but the original driving test is already a joke. No, this is no job for the government. This is a job for vigilante justice!
We need a public forum on asshole drivers. In this modern age of the internets such a thing would be possible even in the smallest of towns and the largest of cities. We need witnesses to report jackass maneuvers (for an update on what qualifies a jackass maneuver see: Right of What in our archive – May 4, 2007). Reported cars will then be free game for tire slashings, window bashings, target practice, and, in more urban locations, pigeon roosting.
Now you might be thinking: Isn’t vigilante justice bad for society as a whole? Well I’ve got something to say to you: No. No it’s not.
*I’m misusing statistics but you can go fuck yourself.
We need a public forum on asshole drivers. In this modern age of the internets such a thing would be possible even in the smallest of towns and the largest of cities. We need witnesses to report jackass maneuvers (for an update on what qualifies a jackass maneuver see: Right of What in our archive – May 4, 2007). Reported cars will then be free game for tire slashings, window bashings, target practice, and, in more urban locations, pigeon roosting.
Now you might be thinking: Isn’t vigilante justice bad for society as a whole? Well I’ve got something to say to you: No. No it’s not.
*I’m misusing statistics but you can go fuck yourself.
